


Explanations

by ninjawolf10



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Family, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 07:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13735851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjawolf10/pseuds/ninjawolf10
Summary: Having raised the turtles for 16 years he would have hoped they'd grown out of the chaos and mayhem they usually cause by now. But still he has to listen to the ridiculous explanations for strange, irrational and frankly worrying behavior.





	1. Balloons

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of one-shots that you will hopefully find amusing! Let me know what you think

**Balloons**

In his life as a single father and Ninja master to four teenage mutant ninja turtles things had never been normal. Even in their younger days before venturing to the surface his four precious turtle sons could still cause havoc and chaos by the most simple of actions. As any parent would he dealt with such situations as they came usually by calmly asking for an explanation of what happened, before deciding on what action to take. He truly fooled himself into believing it was a phase they would grow out of as they got older, giving him some peace from the madness. However as the aged rat knelt across from his two oldest sons in the dojo, he was starting to believe there would never be an end to it.

His eldest son Leonardo was sat before him with a look of deep thought on his face as he looked to be formulating an explanation as to why he had decided to replace his revered twin Katana swords with pink balloon swords instead.

Glancing to Leonardo’s left he found his red masked son looking uncomfortable and refusing to meet his father’s eyes, which was a clear sign to the rat this son was also considering how to explain the situation, which for Raphael appeared to be pink balloon wings attached to his shell. Deciding to break the awkward silence he figured now was an appropriate time to ask for an explanation.

“Well my sons, would either of you care to explain your current accessories?” Splinter asked, carefully concealing the smile on his face as both turtles were startled back into the present.

“Well you see...” began Leonardo clearly mortified at being caught by his father with pink balloon swords, the young leader’s seemingly endless calm deserted him and he stammered to a halt.

“Mater Splinter” began Raphael straightening his posture to look his father in the face “Leo an’ me were arguing about weapons, when Leo said he could take down anything with any weapon. An’ I said what about a flying turtle with balloons. So we got some balloons out of the closet to test his claims. It was a matter of honour, Sensei.”

At this explanation Leonardo seemed ready to melt through the floor in shame, where as Splinter had to admire Raphael for attempting to retain what dignity he could with wings on his shell.

“I understand Raphael. I take it, that it was testing these claims that brought about an early death to our coffee table and upturned most of the furniture in the living room?” questioned the exasperated rat.

“Mater Splinter I’m so sorry, we should never have...” answered the shame faced leader, until Splinter held up a paw to silence him.

“It’s quite alright Leonardo, I understand the situation perfectly well. You are both to clean up the mess in the living room and find a replacement coffee table. You are both free to go, although I would suggest Raphael in the future you refrain from standing on the coffee table and Leonardo, pink really does not suit you.” decided Splinter with a slight smirk as he watched both turtles bow to him before moving to leave the dojo. Raphael was still trying to maintain his image despite the wings attached to his shell, where as Leonardo all but scurried out of the dojo in shame.

With a deep sigh the Ninja master could only shake his head at their antics, with Michelangelo and Donatello visiting April he had hoped for some peace to meditate. Closing his eyes to begin his meditation again Splinter could not help but ponder how many more ridiculous explanations for strange, irrational and frankly worrying behaviour he would have to listen to. At 16 years old surely his sons could be a bit more responsible?


	2. Tea

**Tea**

_Where did I go wrong?_

This was the single thought running through Splinter’s head as he sacrificed yet another part of his breakfast into the toilet. It wasn’t the breakfast that had caused this, of that he was certain, the reason for this sudden fit of vomiting was most certainly from his mid morning cup of tea. Overall the lair had been relatively quiet that morning; training and breakfast had passed by without incident and the rat truly believed he would have some peace to enjoy his stories whilst his sons enjoyed their own pursuits.

“Are you feeling better Sensei?” questioned his red masked son, poking his head around the doorframe of the bathroom. Ah Raphael. The only son he believed was innocent. Sensing that the vomiting was finally at an end the rat shakily got to his feet and flushed the toilet whilst mentally preparing himself to hear the explanations from his sons this time.

“Yes thank you Raphael, are your brothers in the living room still?

“Yeah they’re waiting for you” answered Raphael who was trying to hide a smirk at his brothers’ situation. He knew they were in for it.

As he entered the living room, Master Splinter was met with three concerned faces; already the three of them were kneeling around his armchair, awaiting their chance to plead innocent no doubt. Still feeling shaky the ninja master who had been defeated by a cup of tea sat down heavily into his chair, whilst Raphael chose to lounge on the sofa in anticipation of his brothers’ humiliation. Splinter saw no reason to make him leave, after all he was innocent

From where he sat, the rat could see the shame burning across Leonardo’s face as well as the guilty look on Michelangelo’s face. Donatello however looked curious, as if he couldn’t figure out why something hadn’t worked.

“I will ask only once, who added poison to my tea and more importantly why did you do it” said Splinter sternly, even though he still felt rather off after his bout of vomiting.

Silence.

Where had he gone wrong with them, did they not even have the decency to tell him why they tried to kill him? Since no one was forth coming with an answer Splinter decided to start with Donatello since he didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.

“Donatello perhaps you should start the explanation” This seemed to relieve Michelangelo somewhat since he was not called on to explain the attempted patricide. Leonardo however looked as if he had been presented with the electric chair, as his brother began his explanation.

“Well you see Master Splinter; I was researching poison in my lab when Mikey came in pestering me to find out what I was doing, so I started to explain to him about different poisons and how I was looking at cures. When Leo comes in, and after hearing what we were talking about tells us the best cure is prevention. By which he meant building up a tolerance to poison’s. He told us he was going to try ingesting small amounts of different poisons to build up resistance like a true ninja. “

If anything Leonardo seemed more shame faced than before and continued to stare at his knee pads as Donatello continued his tale.

“I told Leo there was evidence to suggest doing that doesn’t improve your immunity to poisons but only weakens your body. Leo insisted it did and that you had been doing it to yourself for years, which was why you never got food poisoning and vomiting bugs.”

Donatello was explaining this like a science project noticed Splinter as his stomach twisted again, but thankfully he didn’t feel the need to throw up. Whilst it was true the rat hadn’t been very ill for years and didn’t recall vomiting before, he believed it was more to do with a better diet and cleanliness than his sons had.

“I didn’t think you had been building up a tolerance to poisons, I thought it was your mutated rat DNA that gave you the immunity to the bugs we pick up. Mikey agreed with Leo though, so Leo suggested we add some very mild poison to your tea and see if it affected you, since he was so confident in his theory and I was confident in mine, Leo added some of this non lethal poison to your cup when he made you both tea before you watch your stories” finished his purple masked son unashamedly.

“We didn’t mean to make you sick Master Splinter! You’re going to be ok right?” blurted out Michelangelo

“I think I will recover Michelangelo” answered Splinter sharply “Although you do not seem to have taken a large part in this plot, you also did nothing to prevent your brothers poisoning me and so for that you are to do extra training everyday for a week, and you are grounded for a week as well"

“Leonardo, although I admire your dedication to the ways of the Ninja if you had questions regarding poison you should have asked me yourself instead of just believing you were right. You are the leader, supposedly the most responsible and yet you add poison to my tea! Donatello you also should have known better than to test your theories on family!” Splinter lectured the two sons who were usually the least trouble.

“You are both grounded for two weeks and shall perform extra meditation sessions every night with me, and since you both seem so interested in poison I expect a three thousand word essay on the subject by the end of the week.”

Leonardo had visibly deflated throughout his reprimand and he now stood and went to leave along with his brothers after bowing and apologising to Splinter, as did Michelangelo. Donatello however stood with a puzzled look on his face before he also apologised to the rat. “I’m sorry for the poison Master Splinter, but can I get a sample of your DNA? I was sure you would be immune to the poison Leo added into your tea.”

“No, now go!” snapped Splinter as his purple clad son scurried off to his lab.

Sighing Splinter sunk further into his arm chair and closed his eyes.

“Can I get you anything Master Splinter” asked Raphael who had remained silent throughout his brothers’ explanation and punishments, but Splinter knew he had enjoyed not being on the receiving end of this lecture. His innocence was proven by the fact he had only returned to the lair after visiting Mr Jones whilst the rat was vomiting in the toilet.

“No thank you Raphael, I think I will go for a lie down” Raphael only nodded before heading to the dojo.

At least Splinter had now learnt two important lessons. Firstly never take tea from Leonardo again, and secondly Raphael is the only son who didn’t have a hand in poisoning him!


	3. Glue

**Glue**

“Explain yourselves. Now.” demanded Master Splinter to three of his sons, as they gathered in the bathroom of the lair.

Splinter had been in bed, sound asleep when his sharp hearing had picked up the sounds of mischief coming from within their home. He might have ignored it, had he not distinctly heard the sound of one turtle’s pleas being dramatically cut off. The noise having woken him anyway he decided it was best to see what was going on before any of his sons could damage the lair, or each other.

He had however not expected to find Raphael and Donatello standing in the bathroom admiring their handiwork, of Michelangelo hanging from the ceiling. His orange banded son appeared to be suspended from the ceiling by boots he was wearing, whilst his arms were tied behind his shell with duct tape, a piece of which was covering his mouth. Despite Michelangelo’s obvious panic at his predicament the rat couldn’t help but wonder how his sons had managed it.

Although curious to know what on earth had possessed his children to stick their brother to the ceiling, tiredness and frustration at his sons for their irrational behaviour didn’t make for a very happy Father. Was it that much to ask they keep their strange behaviour to daylight hours? It was with some relief however that Splinter noted Leonardo didn’t seem to be involved with his brothers’ antics this time. Deciding to leave Michelangelo as he was for the time being, Splinter had directed his request for an explanation to his other two sons. Neither of which looked particularly bothered by their behaviour.

Raphael looked like justice had been served, and Donatello simply looked curiously at his younger orange clad brother who was clearly wondering why they hadn’t taken him down yet.

“I’m waiting” snapped Splinter as his tail lashed on the ground. After quickly glancing at each other Raphael shrugged and began his explanation.

“Mikey set up a prank that ended with my Sai blades glued together” growled Raphael who was still clearly annoyed with his younger brother “and he glued the door to Donnie’s lab shut.”

“I wouldn’t have noticed until morning but I went to put a book back in my lab when I couldn’t get the door open” cut in Donatello who also seemed unimpressed with his brother.

“So you decided to take revenge on Michelangelo?” questioned Splinter

With a shrug Raphael confirmed his theory “We figured since he seemed to like glue so much, he could hang here till morning.”

“How did you do it?” the rat couldn’t help but wonder out loud. At this point Michelangelo was getting more agitated at his predicament and that he didn’t have the chance to give his side of the story.

“Well, me and Raph decided we had to do something to get back at Mikey so Raph held him down with the duct tape while I wrestled some old boots onto his feet. Then it was a simple matter of using superglue and hanging him from the ceiling” finished Donatello with a smirk.

After taking a minute to process exactly what his sons had been doing the rat sighed and decided to get his over with quickly.

“Take your brother down and then go to bed.  Michelangelo will remove the glue from your weapons Raphael, and your door Donatello in the morning, before he reports to me for extra meditation. Whilst you two will clean this bathroom from top to bottom. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sensei” answered Raphael and Donatello, while Michelangelo nodded furiously from his spot on the ceiling.

Donatello decided it was best to simply untie the shoes to get Michelangelo down and to unstick the boots in the morning. Michelangelo was relieved to be down from the ceiling and had immediately dropped to his knees complaining about his brothers’ unfair treatment of him and their disrespect for his wonderful pranks.

Master Splinter however was in no mood for more trouble and quickly sent all three to bed. The rat master decided to make use of the bathroom himself since he was up and as he sat down on the seat it occurred to him that Leonardo had not reported any pranks being pulled on him. Unfortunately Splinter had already sat down at this point and unwittingly fallen into the trap set for his early rising son, Leonardo. Glue on the toilet seat.

“Michelangelo!”


	4. Strange

**Strange**

Strange. Yes, that was the word to describe his home in the last few days. Sat in a meditative position in the safety of his room, Splinter was attempting to sort through the strange goings on of the last few days.

It had started on Wednesday morning,  breakfast had progressed normally enough but it was at morning training he had noticed a change in Donatello. While all his sons usually put a good amount of effort into training it was usually only Leonardo who was particularly dedicated to hard training, which was why the effort Donatello had displayed had surprised him, however none of Donatello’s brothers seemed to notice the extra focus their brother was putting into training.

His purple banded son was a skilled Ninja but Splinter knew his heart had never been in their Ninjutsu training. That was why he had been so surprised when Donatello had requested an extra lesson after formal training had ended. It was rare for Donatello to request extra training so Splinter quite happily accepted the turtle’s request and had spent an extra hour working on his Katas with him.

Whilst this was unusual it would not have caused the Ninja master any alarm had Donatello not come to him after lunch requesting another training session. Foolishly Splinter had thought perhaps Donatello wanted to spend more time with him and he had asked Donatello if there was anything else he would like to do with him, however Donatello was set on training, after which he then followed up by meditating in the dojo for two hours alone before dinner. At this point Splinter was more than a little confused by his sons actions all day, even though Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael didn’t seem to be paying attention to their brothers unusual activities. To finish off the day Donatello had practiced alone in the dojo for another hour, before doing some weapon maintenance on his Bo staff followed by more meditation and bed.

Splinter had decided not to confront his son about his extra training and would wait to see if it continued the following day.

Unfortunately for Splinter what followed the next day was even stranger. Raphael had been cleaning. Everything. His red banded son had woken early that morning, about the same time Leonardo and himself were up at. As soon as he woke up he had entered the kitchen and started organising it. All of their dishes, cutlery, and food had been arranged according to size, colour, expiration date. Raphael had worked meticulously all morning until breakfast when he sat down at the exact time they usually ate breakfast. Splinter could only watch in astonishment as his usually hot tempered son who was not a morning turtle sat quietly but attentively at the breakfast table.

The day only got progressively stranger for the old rat from there. Raphael had arrived to training exactly on time after which he stayed to tidy up the Dojo and sharpen all their weapons. He then proceeded to clean the living room before moving onto his bedroom. Donatello however had gone back to his usual self while it appeared to be Raphael’s day for odd behaviour. Splinter was absolutely shocked at the change in Raphael, like Donatello the day before he had woken up and been completely out of character. Both of his sons had gone about their day as if in mourning. Their usual sparks gone for the day and replaced with something else that remained a mystery to Splinter.

This however led Splinter to today’s predicament. Michelangelo.  His orange banded son had not left him alone since he woke up. Which was why the rat now found himself hiding in his room under the pretence of meditation. Which Michelangelo had offered to join him in several times. At first he thought Michelangelo had broken something or caused some kind of mischief he was hoping to avoid punishment for when Splinter awoke to his favourite breakfast being cooked and his mug of tea already made. When questioned Michelangelo claimed he had done nothing and was simply being a ‘good son’ to the ‘best Dad a turtle could ask for’. Once again Raphael had gone back to his usual self and Donatello and Leonardo were themselves even though none of his sons again noticed the strange behaviour of their brother.

Splinter’s train of thought was suddenly interrupted as a knocking on his door alerted him to a presence.

“Master Splinter do you need anything? More tea, candles lighting, a pillow? I know the floor gets uncomfortable when you’re meditating, is your tail sore?” his orange clad son called through the woefully thin door.

Right, enough was enough. Standing up Splinter quickly turned to open his door surprising Michelangelo on the other side.

“My sons! Here. Now!” Splinter called into the creepily quiet lair.

A few seconds later his sons materialised in the living room. None of them looked the least bit surprised they were being summoned like this. It’s like they were expecting it as they all gathered in front of his favourite arm chair and knelt down waiting for him.

Wearily Splinter went to take his place, he would get to the bottom of this one way or another.

“Alright explain yourselves” he demanded making sure each son felt the burn of his gaze.

“I’m not explaining” stated Leonardo seemingly bored by this whole thing

“Mikey should do it, it’s his day after all” suggested Raphael which Donatello quickly nodded his agreement to before Michelangelo could disagree.

“Your day for what?” questioned Splinter turning his focus to Michelangelo.

“Ok guess I’m explaining” began the orange clad turtle with a sigh “ we went on patrol the other night and Leo was getting all high and mighty on us cause he thought we were slacking and need to be more dedicated like him blah blah blah. So Raph told him what a bore he is and how we were all dedicated we just weren’t freaks about it. So Leo went on another rant saying we couldn’t pull off being him and saying he leads a very interesting life for a turtle. “

“And how exactly did this cause your strange behaviour the last few days?” Splinter asked still feeling the annoyance from before.

“Well since Leo said we should be more dedicated like him we made a bet with him that we’d each be dedicated to one of the three things Leo’s dedicated to for a day, and if each of us could pull it off all day then Leo had to go a week without mentioning the words ‘extra training’ ‘dedication and ‘like me’.”

Splinter was baffled, where had he gone wrong that they would make such ridiculous bets with each other? But curiosity won out, he had to know the rest of the story “What areas of dedication was it you each focused on?”

This time Donatello decided to answer their father “Well, Leo’s dedicated to training more than he needs to, being a compulsive clean freak, and sucking up to you. So I did Ninjutsu, Raph did cleaning and Mikey was supposed to be sucking up to you.”

Splinter found himself at a loss for words, he also found himself feeling a bit sorry for his eldest son, surely that was a very hollow interpretation of his son’s dedication. Before he had a chance to comfort his blue clad son though Leonardo turned to his brothers.

“Good job guys, Donnie I hope you see now how much effort I put into training, and Raph it’s not easy to keep a sewer and weapons as clean and sharp as I do. Mikey your efforts were good but you came on too strong, you need to be more subtle about it. Master Splinter’s getting older and he shouldn’t notice the extra help you give him” lectured Leonardo to everyone’s collective astonishment.

Definitely strange.


	5. Report

**Report**

Sipping his tea in the peaceful kitchen of their sewer home, Master Splinter waited patiently for his sons to finish their morning training. A few weeks ago he had decided it was time to let Leonardo have a taste of the responsibility of teaching others and believed it would benefit him as a Ninja and the leader of his brothers. So for a few lessons each week he had stepped out of the dojo and left Leonardo in charge of the training. In truth his other sons hadn’t been particularly happy with the idea of Leonardo teaching them, especially Raphael but he had assured them it was a necessary part of their Ninja training and at some point they would all have the chance to teach the others. But for now Leonardo was the only one ready for such responsibility.

Splinter’s ears twitched slightly as he heard the tell tale sounds of his sons leaving the dojo, though they didn’t seem to be in their usual bouncy mood as the lair remained unusually quiet. Normally they would have already burst in to the kitchen disturbing the peace and quiet as they bickered amongst themselves.

 _Something must have happened_ mused Splinter as he finished the last of his tea. Picking up his walking stick he left the sanctity of the kitchen behind as he headed in to the main living area of the lair. To his surprise he could see Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello huddled close together talking in frantic whispers amongst themselves next to the television wall. They didn’t seem to be aware of his presence in the room yet so Splinter glanced around the room searching for his eldest son, only to locate him in the middle of the dojo where he appeared to be meditating.

Turning his attention back to his other children he decided now was as good a time as any to find out what was going on.

“How was training my sons?” announced Splinter loud enough to startle the turtles.

The three turtles in question spun around to face him with surprise etched on their faces followed by quick glances at each other. It was Michelangelo who decided to answer his question as the orange banded turtle quickly snatched a white envelope from each of Donatello and Raphael and bound across to him.

“It was great Master Splinter! We really think our ninja skills are getting so much better with Leo’s super strict training! I mean, we miss you doing our lessons really! Did I ever tell you how much we all enjoyed training with you” babbled Michelangelo as he bounced around the rat.

“Hey me, Raph and Donnie promised April we’d help her out with uh- something really important today! So we gotta run, don’t worry we won’t be seen and we’ll be back uh-soonish!” As Michelangelo continued his babbling Splinter could only watch as Raphael and Donatello inched closer and closer to the exit.  

“By the way these are for you from Leo! Bye Sensei!” Michelangelo quickly pushed three white enveloped into Splinter’s hand before racing towards the exit his other brothers were just disappearing through.

With a weary sigh Splinter sank in to the old couch and decided to see what these envelopes were about. Each of the three envelopes had one of his sons names on it in what he recognised as Leonardo’s hand writing. His curiosity peaked as he wondered what these envelopes could possibly contain that would cause such fear in three of his sons that they would flee the Lair.

Taking the first envelope with Donatello’s name on it Splinter decided to see what all the fuss was about before speaking to Leonardo. Being mindful of his claws Splinter carefully removed two pages from the envelope that was covered with Leonardo’s flowing hand writing that read:

_Dear Mr Hamato_

_Here is the latest assessment report of Donatello Hamato for your viewing._

_Student Name: Donatello Hamato_

_Subject: Ninjutsu_

_Flexibility: B_

_Speed: B_

_Power: C_

_Overall Fitness: C_

_Comments: Decent level of fitness but could improve by training more often and spending less time sitting on his backside in his lab. Needs to stop drinking coffee and live a healthier, natural lifestyle._

_Technique: B_

_Katas: B_

_Sparring: D_

_Combinations: C_

_Stealth: B_

_Overall: C_

_Comments: Good attention to detail and memory skills but needs to focus more on his opponent in sparring and less on the projects he has going on. Little effort to add power into techniques._

_Behaviour: Average_

_Final Comments: Has potential but needs to get more into the mindset of a Ninja and think less about technology. He might progress more if he spent less time making snarky comments behind the teachers back and more time on correcting his stances. He should also stop correcting the teacher when said teacher is teaching. Possibility of a superiority complex._

_I trust you will be able to straighten your son out in this matter Mr Hamato._

_Leonardo Hamato_

 

To say Splinter was shocked would be an understatement as he got to the bottom of the ‘report’ on Donatello. No wonder his sons had been so worried and fled the lair! As the Ninja master stared incredulously at the paper before him, his mind spun as he wondered what on earth had convinced Leonardo that writing reports on his brothers was a good idea.  He knew he should speak to the blue clad turtle about this but curiosity pulled at him until he opened the envelope marked Raphael.

_Dear Mr Hamato_

_Here is the latest assessment report of Raphael Hamato for your viewing._

_Student Name: Raphael Hamato_

_Subject: Ninjutsu_

_Flexibility: B_

_Speed: C_

_Power: A_

_Overall Fitness: B_

_Comments: Good level of fitness but needs to realize that strength isn’t everything and needs to work more on improving his flexibility and speed. No one wants to see a ninja turtle who that’s bulked up they move at the speed of a regular turtle._

_Technique: C_

_Katas: D_

_Sparring: B_

_Combinations: D_

_Stealth: C_

_Overall: D_

_Comments: Seems to enjoy hitting others and testing his strength but shows little regard for the intricacies of technique and thinking before striking._

_Behaviour: Poor_

_Final Comments: Needs to look closer at the Ninja arts of stealth and concealment. Seems to resent my authority, and position above him in life. I suggest he seeks help in getting used to it.  Possibly suffers from anger management problems._

_I trust you will be able to straighten your son out in this matter Mr Hamato._

_Leonardo Hamato_

As he finished reading the second report, Splinter felt sorry for his sons. None of them were perfect students but they didn’t really deserve to have their faults written down and passed on to their Father.

With some trepidation Splinter opened the third and final envelope.

_Dear Mr Hamato_

_Here is the latest assessment report of Michelangelo Hamato for your viewing._

_Student Name: Michelangelo Hamato_

_Subject: Ninjutsu_

_Flexibility: A_

_Speed: A_

_Power: C_

_Overall Fitness: B_

_Comments: A natural athlete who doesn’t need to put much effort in to be quicker than the other students though it would be nice if he did occasionally put some effort into his training, other than just annoying his fellow students and the teacher._

_Technique: B_

_Katas: D_

_Sparring: B_

_Combinations: D_

_Stealth: D_

_Overall: D_

_Comments: Far too noisy to be a true Ninja. Needs to focus more on the true warrior’s way and stop poking fun at his opponents until they turn murderous._

_Behaviour:  Very Poor_

_Final Comments: A constant source of distraction for the other students and very lazy to boot. He could be great if he focused but unfortunately this is highly unlikely to ever happen. Might want to look into possible attention disorders._

_I trust you will be able to straighten your son out in this matter Mr Hamato._

_Leonardo Hamato_

Clearly this new power had gone straight to Leonardo’s head when he felt he had the authority to report on his brothers in such a disrespectful manner! Splinter stood quickly from the sofa and made his way towards the dojo to confront his son.

“Leonardo I have just read those reports you made on your brothers and I must say I am disappointed-“ began Splinter as Leonardo rose from his position on the mats and came over to him.

“That reminds me, this is for you Master Splinter” interrupted his blue clad son as he handed a folded piece of paper over to Splinter.

Stunned into silence, Splinter unfolded the paper and read the title of the page.

_Parenting plan for Splinter Hamato to correct problems with sons behaviour_

Whack. 

That should correct the problem.


	6. Justified

**Justified**

Just what he wanted to hear while meditating. A shrieking sound from the bathroom, in the unmistakable voice of his eldest son. With a deep sign Hamato Splinter rose from his meditating position in the sanctity of his room, and prepared to intervene in what he was certain was going to give him a headache.

 _‘I wonder if Donatello could soundproof my room’_ Splinter thought irritably as he made his way towards the source of the shrieking that he was now certain originated from the bathroom.

As he approached the door way his quick eyes noticed Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael hiding in the shadows near to the bathroom and appeared to be totally transfixed on what was going on within the bathroom.

Deciding to deal with them first Splinter approached his troublesome sons.

“Is there something interesting happening in there?” Splinter enquired.

Startled the three turtles jumped at the sound of Splinter’s voice and turned to face him.

“You gotta stop sneaking up on us like that Sensei! Give a turtle a heart attack why don’t ya” replied Raphael looking surprised.

“My room now!” snapped the Ninja master clearly in no mood for excuses.

“But we may be innocent!” protested Michelangelo.

“Go” repeated Splinter with an edge of irritation in his voice that sent the three turtles in question traipsing towards his room. Resignation plastered on their faces.

Marching towards the bathroom where the shrieking had changed to whimpering Splinter was met with an unsettling sight. Leonardo was kneeling on the floor of the bathroom facing towards the full length mirror in the room with his Katanas and sheaths on the floor in front of him. His green body appeared to be covered in ink and across his shell there was a large bright red letter ‘F’ painted on to it.

“Leonardo what is wrong?” questioned Splinter as his eldest turned to face him.

“Master Splinter I failed you! I am not worthy to be your son, I understand if you disown me and throw me out!” cried the blue masked turtle as he prostrated himself on the floor before his Father.

Slightly unnerved at the performance of his usually stoic son, Splinter looked closer at his son and noticed that the letter ‘F’ appeared to have been stamped across Leonardo’s body in bright red ink. The letter covered his arms, legs, plastron and even appeared in the middle of his forehead and on the tails of his bandanna.

Leonardo was still lying before him on the floor and Splinter was momentarily stunned into silence. After a moments consideration he realized Leonardo was unlikely to be of much help in discovering what had happened and instead decided that interrogating his other sons was likely to bring a quicker end to his saga.

“Leonardo meditate in the Dojo and calm yourself. I will speak to you later my son” announced Splinter who watched as his proud son rose slightly from his position and crawled across the floor of the lair towards the Dojo. His prized Katana lying discarded on the floor.

Making his way back towards his room, the rat mentally prepared himself for what was sure to be a confusing and strange tale.

As he approached the door it surprised him that his sons were silent. Usually they were assigning blame to one another at this point. Marching past his kneeling sons, Splinter took his place opposite them.

“You want to know what happened to Leo right?” asked Donatello before Splinter had chance to question them.

Splinter nodded slightly signalling for him to continue.

“Ok we’ll tell you what happened but you should know that it was only right” continued Donatello as Michelangelo and Raphael remained silent. It was apparent to Splinter that Donatello was the nominated spokes-turtle for this scheme, but the rat said nothing and let his son continue.

* * *

 

_The night before_

“Hey Leo, I bet I can beat you on this quiz” taunted Michelangelo to his older brother who was currently reading on the sofa.

“What quiz?” questioned the blue masked turtle without moving his eyes from his book

“Donnie found this quiz online and showed it to Master Splinter who said that only true Ninjas could pass a quiz like that so Master Splinter did it and passed and then Raph and Donnie did it too and passed and I’m about to do it myself. You wanna have a go too bro?”

“Sure I’ll probably find it easier than you will though, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail bro” answered Leonardo as he marked his place in the book and stood to face his orange banded brother.

Hiding the spike of annoyance at Leonardo’s answer, Michelangelo forced a smile and bounced towards Donnie’s lab. “Donnie has it set up in here Leo!”

As both turtles assembled in Donnie’s lab they were met with a grinning Raph and Donnie turned in his computer chair to face his brothers.

“So who’s going first then?” asked Donatello knowing instantly what both brothers were here to do.

“I will” answered the eldest turtle immediately and took the seat offered to him by Don. The quiz was already set up on the computer and cracking his knuckles Leonardo set down to begin...

_5 minutes later..._

“I failed” whispered Leonardo as he stared mortified at the screen in front of him displaying a large F and announcing he had got 0 out of 15 questions correct.

A light clicking sound caught his attention and he turned to see a piece of paper sticking out of Donnie’s printer.

“Here’s your results Leo, you might want to practice a bit more bro you’re the only one who hasn’t passed yet” announced Raphael as he lifted the paper from the printer and placed it in a pile with three other sheets of paper that upon further inspection were the results from Raph, Donnie and Splinter.

“But how...” whispered Leonardo. The questions were easy, or so he thought the correct answer stood out among the other stupid answer options.

“Step aside Leo and let a pro show you how it’s done!” called Mikey as he pushed his brother out of the chair and restarted the quiz. 

5 minutes of silence later and Michelangelo’s results were being calculated. A large A appeared on the screen and it was confirmed that Mikey had answered all 15 questions correctly.

“Woo hoo!” shouted an excited Michelangelo and swiftly high threed Donnie and Raph.

“So wait” said Leonardo interrupting his celebrating brothers “ you all got an A, and answered every question right.

“Yep, even Master Splinter” confirmed a grinning Michelangelo “Don’t worry bro we won’t tell Master Splinter yet, we can help you practice and then maybe you’ll pass too!”

“Don’t worry Leo, not everyone can be a true Ninja straight away” added Donnie

“Yeah some people just take more time to get the hang of Ninja stuff” finished Raphael patting his older brother on the shoulder.

“Uh yeah well it’s getting late, I think I night turn in for the night” replied a despondent Leonardo as he left the lab and headed towards his room.

“Phase 1 complete” announced Raphael sharing an evil look with his remaining brothers.

_2 hours later..._

In the dark stillness of the lair three figures moved silently towards the bedroom of Leonardo. For the next phase of their plan they needed Leonardo to stay asleep and it was unfortunate that he was such a light sleeper. Pushing the door open a crack, Donatello let a tiny metal ball roll in to the room where it stopped by the bottom of their blue clad brothers’ bed. Easing the door closed again, Donatello pressed the button on a small remote and the small metal ball opened silently and released an airborne sleeping agent into the air. After waiting outside the door silently for 5 minutes while the air cleared, the three intruders quietly entered their older brothers’ bedroom. 

Like clockwork the three brothers began the process of stamping the letter ‘F’ all over their brothers body, making sure to remain as quiet as possible even though it became more apparent to them that Leonardo was sound asleep and would not wake up yet. His mask tails were also stamped and his katanas were removed from their sheaths and stamped too. Carefully  they turned Leonardo over and Raphael produced the red paint and brush he had brought and proceeded to paint a large F on the sleeping turtles shell.

Their task done, they returned Leonardo to his previous sleeping position and left the room silently. Now all they had to do was wait until their brother woke up...

_Present_

... so that was where you found us this morning while Leo had a meltdown in the bathroom” finished Donatello, bringing a close to their tale of deceit.

After listening in stunned silence Splinter eventually asked the question that had been plaguing him, though he suspected he knew the answer. “Why?”

“He tested our ninja knowledge and gave us report cards, so it was only fair we did the same to him!” explained Michelangelo.

It was a cruel way of teaching their brother a lesson but as Splinter eyed the folded piece of paper full of parenting advice Leonardo had presented to him, he thought it wasn’t entirely unjustified.


	7. Getting to know you

**Getting to know you**

“I want to know exactly what you four have been doing” demanded Splinter from his seat in the arm chair of the main room as his four sons knelt in front of him.

Silence answered him.

“Someone had better explain to me where these letters came from” the rat snapped, angrily pointing to a pile of letters on the coffee table.

It was Michelangelo who decided to start the explanation “Well you see it started...”

* * *

 

**_One week ago..._ **

“Do you think Master Splinter ever gets lonely?” questioned the orange clad turtle as he stuffed more potato chips into his mouth.

“What do ya mean?” answered his red banded brother who was also sitting on the couch as a commercial break played out across the TV wall.

“Look at this commercial!” pointed out Michelangelo as a promotion for online dating continued to play out on the screens. The commercial was currently showing lonely people meeting the person of their dreams. “He needs some love in his life!” exclaimed the mutant as he finished the bag of chips.

“What do ya mean he needs love, he’s got us what more does he need”

“He needs a woman in his life Raph! You know someone to cuddle with, who he can enjoy his soaps with, spend time with...”

“I get it!” interrupted Raph “but he’s a mutant rat living in the sewers with four kids, doesn’t exactly scream ladies man. Besides he’s got Leo to watch his soaps with”

“What are you two talking about?” called Leo from where he was practicing his katas

“You listening in bro” accused Raph

“I heard my name” shrugged the blue clad turtle as he made his way over to the couch where his younger brothers were.

“Do you think Master Splinter gets lonely?” asked Michelangelo turning in his seat to look at his brother

Leonardo seemed to think carefully about it before answering. “Maybe. I mean he is the only mutant rat in the world...” Leo trailed off as his mind started to question if his Father was lonely and he hadn’t noticed.

“That could be why he’s always so serious and strict” added a new voice causing the turtles to jump as Donatello appeared seemingly from nowhere.

“How long have you been there and why didn’t we notice ya” grumbled Raph to his genius brother

“Ninja” he answered simply before continuing “Humans and animals naturally seek companionship like Mikey described and Master Splinter has never had companionship like that before. He might not miss it but on some level he must crave it and that may be why he’s always been so serious and not so much fun.”

“Yeah but he’s a mutant rat, no offence to Sensei but what girl would want him?” questioned Raph as it seemed his brothers were missing his point.

“We should set him up on a dating website!” exclaimed Michelangelo. His mind already whirring with how to set Splinter up.

“I don’t think Sensei would go for that Mike” answered Leo

“We don’t need to tell him, we can set up a profile and see if anyone is interested!” pushed the orange clad turtle.

“Well...” started Donnie

“You aren’t seriously considering this are ya Donnie?” said an exasperated Raph

“Well not setting him up on an actual date, but maybe if we could get some interest in him they might send him letters and give him the emotional connection he is clearly lacking.”

“How is he lacking an emotional connection?” asked Leo as his worry continued to grow. Had Splinter been missing something all these years.

“Think about it as a pet rat he will have had no connection with female rats and so was alone then. When we mutated he was the only adult and so spent the first few years only having babies as company, plus we are all male so after all this time he will have been lacking a woman’s presence. This could have caused him to become emotionally crippled and blocked up hence why he’s always so uptight and serious.”

The other turtles could only look at Donnie in stunned silence as he finished his analysis of Master Splinter.

“It’s settled then. We set him up on a dating website and arrange for some of these women to send him letters” announced the blue clad turtle now in full leader mode as they embarked on the mission to set their Father up.

Raphael however was not convinced “That’s a load of rubbish, he’s never seemed interested in romance before and he knows April! So there is a woman in his life.

“Why do you think he watches the soaps on tv, he’s subconsciously compensating for what he doesn’t have. April’s presence is only taunting him with what he hasn’t got as to the best of my knowledge she isn’t romantically interested in him and spends a lot more time with us than him.” concluded Don as the evidence of Splinter being lonely stacked up in the eyes of Leo and Mikey who were nodding and agreeing with everything their brainy brother said.

To them it all made perfect sense.

“If you don’t want to help make Master Splinter happy then you can stay here” stated Mikey as he hopped off the couch and followed his other brothers into the lab.

With a reluctant sigh Raphael followed his brothers. It would be interesting if nothing else.

10 minutes later a quick internet search by Donatello had produced a good website that offered three moths free membership and the brothers were crammed around the screen as the screen prompted them to fill out Splinters details.

“Okay guys first question: Name” announced Donatello who was the nominated typer.

“Duh it’s Splinter obviously” answered Mikey to the obvious question.

“Splinter Hamato” added Leo

“Age” read Donnie

Silence followed as each turtle pondered this question. Splinter had chosen birthdays for each of the turtles when they were babies and as they got older they realized he didn’t have one himself and so had chosen a birthday for him which the turtles celebrated every year, but they had no way of knowing his age.

“50” guessed Mikey

“45” ventured Raph

“You know technically he’s only a couple of years older than us. He was an adult rat when he mutated so he was probably between two and three years old and been mutated for 16 years so he’s probably only 19 years old really” Donatello explained to his strangely silent brothers.

“That is so creepy Donnie. He’s not a teenager, he’s our Dad therefore he’s old” decided Mikey who looked rather disturbed by the conversation.

“Well let’s go for middle aged then, it fits better anyway” started Leonardo who looked about as disturbed as Mikey.

“No put him as 22 ladies like a younger man” Raph interrupted.

“Ok fine he’s 22, now let’s move on” announced the purple banded turtle getting tired of his brothers bickering.

“Alright what’s next” questioned Leo

“Eye colour”

“Brown” stated Raphael

“Favourite colour”

“Green” answered the leader without hesitation

“Body shape”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Mikey leaning over Donnie’s shoulder to get a better look at the screen.

“The options are athlete, average, a bit extra, big and cuddly”

“I’d go athlete” Leo said after a moment’s consideration

“How many more questions are there on that stupid thing?” grumbled an impatient looking Raph

“A lot Raph. Remember we’re trying to sell him on here guys so we may at times need to stretch the truth. Agreed?” asked Donnie spinning in his chair to look at his brothers

“Agreed” chorused the other three turtles as they turned their attention back to their task.

* * *

 

**Present**

“... so that’s all we were trying to do Master Splinter” finished Michelangelo giving the rat his best puppy dog eyes.

“What exactly did you put on this fake profile of me that would result in me getting letters like this?” steamed Splinter.

When April had came down to the lair earlier today with a large stack of mail addressed to him, he had been shocked. Who on Earth would write to him and know to send it to April? When April had delivered the strange load the boys had been out for training in the sewers, so he had thanked her for delivering the post and had asked her not to mention anything to the turtles about it.

He was certain it had something to do with them and when he had read the contents of the letters he had no doubts about who was responsible. Some of the letters he had received were disturbing to say the least...

“Clearly you’re a big hit with the ladies Sensei! So what were they saying to you?” enquired Michelangelo as his other sons also looked up at him curiously.

Despite himself, Splinter could feel embarrassment creeping up. The letters were detailing rather vivid fantasises these women were apparently having of him; one woman had even sent him her bra. Perhaps most disturbing was that these women were middle aged and several promised to make him their toy boy.

Clearing his throat Splinter decided offense was the best defence in this situation. “The letters were very personal and I will not tell you what was in them however it was all highly inappropriate. I understand your intentions in this were good but very misguided. I am not lonely and I’m not missing the presence of a woman in my life either. “

“But Donnie said you were lacking an emotional connection in your life?” questioned Leonardo who couldn’t quite belief Splinter wasn’t pleased with them.

“I’m certainly not my son, and I have no interest in pursuing romance either.”

“Told you” whispered Raph angrily to the others.

“Donatello, you seem to have masterminded this endeavour and I wish for you to give me a copy of this profile so I may read it myself you will then delete it.”

“All of you will spend the rest of this evening cleaning the lair until it is spotless and will have extra training all week. You are not to try and set me up again. Understood?”  finished Splinter

“Yes Sensei” they chorused.

Slumping back in the chair as his sons left to start their chores Splinter couldn’t help but feel he was being punished for the one evening last week when he had left them unsupervised while he went to inspect the sewers.

Clearly at 16 they still needed constant supervision or else they would try and pimp him out.


	8. Cheating

**Cheating**

Running across the rooftops wasn’t the way Hamato Splinter had planned on spending his evening. The time when his sons are out of the lair is normally a sacred opportunity to enjoy peace, quiet and relaxation without being needed to referee arguments, lead training sessions or prevent their home from falling into chaos. Tonight however April had called the main phone in the lair and asked if he could come to her apartment quickly. His initial thought had been that his sons were in trouble though April was quick to assure him they were fine, although she refused to elaborate on what was so urgent he had to abandon his relaxing evening.

Jumping onto a rooftop just before the apartment Splinters mind went back to the conversation with April, and while she hadn’t sounded worried there was a hint of annoyance hiding behind the exasperation in her voice. He couldn’t help but recognise the tone of her voice as the rat feared, he also sounded like than on more than one occasion, normally after prolonged exposure to his sons and their mischief. Making his way towards the already open window Splinter braced himself for whatever madness he might encounter as well as mentally preparing the apology he was sure he would need to make to April for whatever the turtles had done or were currently doing.

Stepping out of the cool night air and into the warmth of the apartment Splinter found himself greeted by an unsettling sight. April was sitting at her kitchen table cradling a cup of coffee with Donatello also enjoying the beverage whilst Michelangelo was sprawled across the couch lazily flipping through a magazine.

“April, boys is everything alright?” he asked suspiciously, as he made his presence known.

The two turtles present snapped their attention to the rat whilst April jumped slightly, clearly not aware he had arrived.

“Master Splinter, thanks for coming so quickly” said April, leaving her seat at the dining table and making her way over to the rat.

“Hi Sensei” chorused Michelangelo and Donatello

“Where are Raphael and Leonardo?” inquired Splinter noting the absence of his two eldest sons.

“That’s why we called you here” answered the red head looking slightly uncomfortable.

“Will someone please explain to me what is going on?” pressed the Ninja Master, his patience wearing thin.

Moving away from the kitchen table towards his father Donatello started “Well you see…”

“Ooh can I tell him Donnie? It’s a funny story and you’re not a humorous turtle!” interrupted the youngest of the brothers bouncing up from the couch towards the rest of the family.

“Ok fine” huffed his purple masked son

“Well it started when we went on patrol Sensei, it was a pretty standard night with not much to do and the usual amount of Raph brooding and Leo lecturing. So while Raph and Leo were bickering about something and Donnie was star gazing I snuck off to fill up some of my super fun water balloons! Just to lighten the mood and put a smile on my brothers faces like the considerate turtle I am” enthused the youngest turtle though Splinter was rapidly losing his remaining patience with this long winded tale.

“When I got back to my bros Karai had shown up with about a dozen foot Ninja and she was having a stare down with Leo. You know when they get all epic, draw their swords, compare their honour codes and all that?”

At that Splinter interrupted his sons rambling story “The Foot? Where are your brothers? Are they safe?”

“Don’t worry they’re totally fine!“ reassured Michelangelo before ploughing straight back into his story “So when I saw the Foot were there and they hadn’t seen me, I launched a water balloon and got Karai right in the face! All her Ninjas drew their swords but she just kind of stood there looking shocked and so did Raph, Leo and Donnie. I totally though they were going to attack us but Karai just started ranting at Leo about how being hit with a water balloon is a cheap shot and goes against warrior code blah, blah, blah. Then Leo started arguing back and they got into a full on debate about the whole thing” finished Michelangelo at last.

After suffering through his sons explanation, Splinter found himself at a loss for words but the question of where the other two were still hadn’t been answered.

“Donatello, where are your brothers?” he questioned sharply.

“Leo and Karai were debating for over two hours so we got bored and came here, Leo refused to listen to us and carried on arguing. Raph stayed to make sure they didn’t attack Leo if we left him. He’s really bored now, he’s keeping up updated by text. April asked to speak to Leo so Raph put her on speaker, but Leo said it was a matter of honour and he refuses to yield the argument”  answered Donatello seemingly bored by the whole affair.

“This is why I called you” muttered April from his left, clearly exasperated by the stubbornness of the turtles.

“Tell me where they are Donatello, I will sort this out” sighed the rat.

* * *

Heading towards the rooftop he had been directed to, the rat was greeted with the sight of Karai and Leonardo arguing loudly in the centre of the rooftop while Raphael lounged against a wall with his arms crossed over his broad chest. Karai’s foot ninja’s also seemed to have lost enthusiasm for their evening and were sitting crossed leg behind Karai.

Leaping from the rooftop he was currently on Splinter landed just behind Leonardo startling all present on the rooftop and causing a momentary lapse in the argument.

“Enough” called the rat approaching the arguing leaders.

“Leonardo we are leaving now. Raphael come” snapped Splinter

“But Sensei she said we have no honour! Stealth attacks are part of a Ninja’s training, a true Ninja would have sensed it coming!” shouted Leonardo, clearly infuriated at Karai’s apparent lack of understanding.

“You believe that water balloons are honourable? You and your brothers cheated Leonardo because you know you cannot defeat me. I didn’t realise you were so afraid of me that you would resort to such underhand tactics” replied the Foot Clan second in command, equally indignant.

“This ends now! Karai go back to your master. We are leaving!” interjected Splinter grabbing the mask tails of his eldest son while Raphael seized his arm pulling him backwards.

Following on from Splinters lead the foot Ninja started on pulling Karai back towards an opposite rooftop. Though they were moving further away the two continued to bicker.

“Come back when you learn how to be a real Ninja Karai” called the blue masked turtle

“We will duel again Leonardo when you teach your brothers not to cheat!” roared Karai.

Leaning closer to his Father Raphael whispered “Thanks for the save Sensei, I didn’t want to leave the knucklehead alone but he didn’t half make it tempting. If I heard the words honour and cheating again I think I’d have knocked them both out.”

“Your patience was admirable Raphael, I’m not convinced I would have had the same restraint” complimented the rat with a weary sigh as they finally got clear from the Foot.

Rounding on his eldest the rat demanded an explanation. “Leonardo why on Earth have you spent the last three hours arguing with Karai over a water balloon?”

“Master Splinter” Leonardo started solemnly “She accused us of cheating, it offended my honour” finished the leader as if the argument was of great importance.

At a loss for words, Splinter could only mourn the loss of his quiet night and resigned himself to spending the rest of his evening dealing out punishments as necessary and thanking April for her patience with his sons.   


	9. Three Turtle Job

**Three Turtle Job**

It was with some trepidation Splinter made his way through the sewers towards the lair. Given the amount of trouble his sons could cause in a short amount of time, he had at first been unwilling to leave them unsupervised while he went to train April at her apartment, but the rat had forced himself to go. They were sixteen years old! If he couldn’t leave them alone for a few hours now he never would and it did bring him some comfort that he had left them some tasks to do, nearly all involved cleaning the lair and maintenance. He was hopeful that keeping them busy would keep them out of causing havoc and therefore save him from a headache later. It was a small hope but Splinter could still dream.

Turning round the last bend towards his home Splinter tried to stifle the rising anxiety he felt. The sewer tunnel seemed to grow slightly colder around him as he approached the door and his every nerve was on end with the certainty he would be walking into a war zone as he tapped in the necessary code to enter the lair.

Light spilled out into the tunnel as Splinter stepped into the oddly quiet lair. Continuing to move forwards as the large door shut noiselessly behind him, the rat stood in the centre of the room as his sharp eyes inspected the state of his home.

It was…

Clean.

Very clean.

The floors shone and the furniture seemed to have been polished and scrubbed to perfection, not a cobweb or dust bunny could be sighted and Splinter was almost certain it had never been this clean before, even when he had cleaned it himself.

“Boys” the rat called into the apparently empty lair.

When there was no response Splinter made his way slowly around the lair mentally checking off some tasks he had asked them to do.

Polish the weapons. Check.

Clean the kitchen. Check

Mop the floors. Check.

Unclog the shower drain and tidy the bathroom. Check.

Although the turtles appeared to have followed the instructions they were given, there was something that just didn’t sit right with Splinter. They were never this clean. Only Leonardo really enjoyed cleaning as he found it relaxing, Michelangelo found it boring, Raphael would do it quickly before he run out of patience and Donatello seemed to find it a waste of his intellect.

Thinking through the tasks he had given them, one involved tidying the garage and it was really the only other place they could be assuming they were still following his orders. Heading towards the elevator Splinter felt his mood brightening slightly. If the garage was as tidy as the rest of the lair he would be very pleased.

The sense of calm and peace that had begun to settle on the rat soon vanished as the elevator moved close to the garage where loud voices could be heard. A sense of doom creeped up on Splinter as the elevator slowed to a halt and the doors creeped open. Any hope the rat held for a clean garage evaporated the moment his eyes met the sheer carnage of the area. Momentarily stunned, Splinter took a moment to remind himself this was their garage and not the dump although the dump was possibly better organised than this mess. When he had asked them to tidy the garage he had meant sweep the floors, put the rubbish away do some maintenance on the vehicles and tools in there. He hadn’t meant pile it so high with junk you could barely locate the battle shell, which was finding a new purpose in life supporting a heap of tools, sports equipment and other assorted junk leaning against it.

With the initial shock wearing off, the Ninja master located his sons amongst the chaos. Leonardo and Donatello were standing at opposing ends of the garage bickering across the area while Raphael and Michelangelo were lounging amongst the mess behind Donatello. Michelangelo seemed to be writing something on a whiteboard.

“Don’t make this into a bigger issue than it is Donnie. I gave you an order and you can’t follow it therefore you obviously didn’t understand it in the first place. Just admit you need extra direction and I’ll happily provide it” stated Leonardo with a serious expression and a sympathetic look in his eyes as he bickered with his purple masked sibling.

“Are you questioning my intelligence? You who doesn’t understand the literal definition of the word ‘tidy’ is implying I’m stupid?” retorted Donatello angrily.

“Face it Donnie, you can’t tidy up to the same standard as me so you twist the definitions of words to suit your own laziness.”

“You dare to call me lazy? You who prances around here giving orders whilst taking a millennium to finish your own tasks!”

“It did not take that long, and I at least do it properly! You have poor workmanship Don. Raph and Mikey do as well if that brings you any comfort”

After listening to the battle raging between the two supposedly more sensible turtles, Splinter turned his attention to Raphael and Michelangelo who seemed to be tallying up points for the argument. After a small observation it appeared that whichever turtle made the best point or quip was awarded a point, although it was no surprise for Splinter to see Donatello in the lead particularly when he was against cleaning and Leonardo was in favour.

Feeling a headache developing, Splinter wearily gazed around the wreck of the garage and decided that it was now time for the much dreaded explanation. He was at least certain that in their minds the craziness makes sense, but to him it was an endless stream of concern and berating himself for not reading more parenting books. Perhaps the most worrying aspect of all this was the complete lack of reaction from his sons when he arrived. Normally his presence would put an end to the bickering and pleas of innocence would begin. Not one of his turtles so much as turned a head in his direction leading the rat to believe they were either unconcerned about the consequences of the mess they had caused or that they were genuinely unware of his presence, possibly because they couldn’t see him for the piles of junk. Considering they were highly trained Ninjas, Splinter hoped for the first option more than the second.

“Enough!” shouted Splinter smacking his walking stick on to the ground for emphasis. As the sound echoed around the garage all of the turtles fell silent turning towards the source of the noise, some craning their necks to see the Ninja Master stood in front of the elevator. He didn’t look very happy.

“Master Splinter” started Michelangelo springing to his feet “how long have you been stood there exactly?”

“Long enough my son. I came home to find the lair immaculate and yet up here appears to be a work in progress?” questioned Splinter looking sharply at all four of the turtles who were wading through the junk towards him.

At this Leonardo immediately straightened himself before the rat and prepared to deliver what Splinter was sure was a heavily covered up accusation of his brothers laziness, while the other three seemed to cluster together for what was probably an equally well plotted counter argument, particularly since Donatello seemed to be leading the rebels.

“What happened in here and why haven’t you cleaned it as I requested?” started Splinter as the turtles knelt around him. He was in no mood for this to drag on longer than absolutely necessary.

As both Leonardo and Donatello opened their mouths to begin, Splinter rounded on Michelangelo and Raphael.

“I will hear it from you Raphael as yourself and Michelangelo don’t seem to be the main perpetrators this time” cut in Splinter. Michelangelo made any explanation a novel and Raphael would want to be done with this quickly.

At this Raphael huffed slightly in annoyance before he started the tragic tale of cleaning the lair.

* * *

 

**Three hours earlier**

“Ok guys, we know what needs to be done so let’s get to it” commanded the blue masked turtle as the lair door closed behind Splinter.

“Maybe later” yawned Michelangelo as he stretched out across the sofa with Donatello sat on the opposing end and Raphael seated on the floor flipping through a magazine.

“No, we’re going to start now if we have any hope of doing a good job. I need a hundred percent effort from each of you, which means no slacking” lectured the leader striding around the sofa to stand in front of his lazing brothers. “I’ll start with the weapons and the Dojo, Raph do the kitchen, Mikey can clean in here and Donnie you do the bathroom”

“Sensei’s not here Leo, you can take that stick out of your shell” snapped Raphael

“You need to chill out dude, I mean we live in a sewer it’s already clean compared to outside the lair” reasoned the orange clad turtle as he flipped absently through some TV channels.

“Why do I get the bathroom exactly? It’s disgusting in there and it’s not because of me!” bit back Donatello at the thought of getting up close and personal with the bathroom.

“As leader it’s up to me to guide us through tasks and that includes cleaning” stated Leonardo shaking his head slightly “It’s not up to debate so get on with it!”

With that the three previously lazing turtles begrudgingly got to their feet to start on the cleaning. Not so much for Leonardo, but more for the fact Splinter would surely check they had done it. About 20 minutes into the cleaning adventure Donatello noticed a problem with the shower head and how it appeared to be bent into the wall at an angle. Almost as if it had been struck by a large, angry mutant turtle. With a heavy sigh Donatello set about looking at the damage and what could be done to fix it. This cleaning thing was such a waste. He could be doing so many more important things like upgrading security, developing weapons or taking a nap in his lab. Training was pretty intense this morning and had left the genius feeling quite lethargic. Realizing he couldn’t quite do the job alone, Donatello emerged from the bathroom to locate his suffering siblings.

Michelangelo was creating a pile in the middle of the room made up of all the random things scattered throughout the main living area. It was no secret Splinter had been glaring at many of the offending items the last few days and his orange clad sibling now piled them in the centre of the lair with some dramatic flair. Raphael seemed to be creating his own pile in the kitchen made up of mouldy food, expired cans, broken kitchen utensils and Leo’s tofu. Leo would probable disagree this was rubbish though.

The turtle in blue was playing classic Japanese music in the Dojo as he slowly and methodically scrubbed every inch of the dojo and equipment, an intense look of concentration was on his face as the most dedicated turtle battled a particularly tough patch of dirt.

“Mikey” called the purple clad turtle pulling his younger brother out of the zombie like trance he appeared to be in

“What’s up Donnie? Toilet sparkling yet?” joked Michelangelo with mischief in his eyes.

“Don’t remind me. The shower head is wrecked and I need some help to fix it”

“Beats doing this, I’ll grab Raph too, you know how lonely he gets!” teased Michelangelo bounding across to their red clad brother.

It was 20 minutes after that, Leonardo decided it was an appropriate time to check on his brothers progress. They were well known slackers after all, even Donnie dropped the ball if it was something he wasn’t interested in. Leaving the now gleaming Dojo floor, Leonardo headed out into the main area of the lair. It had taken him 40 minutes to clean the floor but the leader knew it had to be perfect. His brothers would have only spent 20 minutes doing the whole Dojo but Leonardo understood the importance of the task he had assigned himself and took it very seriously. If it took him another 40 minutes to polish the weapons and another 40 to clean the walls then so be it.

The living area of the lair and kitchen were piled high with rubbish yet Raphael and Michelangelo were nowhere to be seen. Surely they couldn’t have ditched out already? They hadn’t even been cleaning for an hour yet. It was then Leonardo heard the unmistakeable voices of his missing siblings coming from the bathroom where Donatello should be cleaning.

Taking a calming breath and straightening his posture the blue clad turtle stormed towards the bathroom, prepared to both reprimand and inspire them to be better. To squash their laziness and replace it with dedication.

No amount of ninja training could have prepared him for the sight that met him though.

“Push me a bit higher Raph!” instructed Donatello

“Your shell’s getting heavy here Donnie” came the gruff reply

“Donnie this pipe is heavy and my arms are getting tired” complained the youngest

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Leo with annoyance

“Fixing the shower head Leo, what does it look like?” replied the purple masked turtle snarkily

“Woah Leo! You just sounded exactly like Master Splinter then dude. Really sent a chill down my shell” quipped Michelangelo

“He probably practices in front of his mirror” added in Raphael with a grunt.

“Needs to work on the accent though” replied Michelangelo as his arms started to go numb from his position.

Within the relatively small shower area in the bathroom Donatello was sitting on Raphael’s shoulders with one arm shoved in the wall where the shower head used to sit, while Michelangelo was jammed against the wall holding up the pipes and shower head so Donatello could work on them.

Not one to be put off by his brother’s immaturity Leonardo continued to press for an answer.

“Why aren’t you doing what I told you? The lair is even more of a mess than it was before”

“The shower head was wrecked so I started to fix it and realised the pipes are messed up. I needed a hand so I called them into help. I hope that meets your approval Leonardo” replied an annoyed Donatello.

“This isn’t a three turtle job. Donnie fix the shower head, you two get back to your jobs!”

“As I said Leo, I need help to fix this. Given your complete ignorance of anything mechanical I don’t see how you’re in a position to argue”

“With all your intellect you can’t fix a shower head alone? I bet Raph and Mikey jumped at the chance to slack off as well! I won’t put up with this though. It only takes one turtle to fix that and you two need to go back to your areas. When you’ve finished them to a high standard we can all move onto the garage. It’s in desperate need of a clean up” lectured Leonardo pacing back and forth in the small bathroom “Master Splinter is relying on us and it’s our duty to finish the job at hand to a high standard”

With that Leonardo turned on his heel and left the bathroom feeling satisfied his brothers had been both reprimanded sufficiently and inspired to be better turtles.

“Well that was exciting” said Michelangelo breaking the silence

“If I didn’t have your shell on my shoulders Donnie, I’d have probably hit him” revealed Raphael with anger lacing his tone.

“If my hand wasn’t stuck in the wall, I’d have been tempted to myself Raph” replied Donatello as he finally managed to bend the pipes the way he wanted “and we’re done!”

Hopping down from Raph’s shoulders Donatello quickly reattached the shower head as his brothers stretched out after holding their positions so long.

“Back to the dark abyss of cleaning to satisfy Master Leo” complained the youngest

“Oh great, fearless prancing around checking on our progress is just what I need in my life” grumbled Raphael

At that Donatello turned to his brothers with a wicked gleam in his eyes that revealed a hint of madness in the genius.

“Well technically the definition of ‘tidy’ is to put things away for the sake of neatness so I propose we do just that.”

“Meaning?” questioned the youngest, excited about the prospect of getting out of tidying

“It’s going to be a three turtle job…”

* * *

 

“So what you’re saying is, you moved all of the items normally scattered around the living room and in the kitchen to the garage?” questioned Splinter in bewilderment.

“Yes” came the reply from Donatello

“And you did not notice this Leonardo?” Splinter asked turning to his blue clad son.

“He was too busy cleaning the Dojo for two hours” interjected Raphael with a roll of his eyes

Ignoring the intrusion Leonardo answered “I noticed how clean everywhere was when I finished the Dojo so I came up to the garage to find this mess. I’m just as disappointed as you Sensei, clearly they need my guidance in even simple tasks” apologised the leader with a small bow.

Splinters headache intensified as he surveyed the wreckage in the garage and the four turtles waiting on his verdict. Honestly they were all as bad as each other and Splinter wasn’t sure he had the strength needed to carry on this conversation.

“All of you will clean this garage until it is spotless. That does not mean you simply relocate the mess either. You may take the definition of tidy as the standard that does not require me to punish you. Is that clear?” pressed Splinter with finality

The announcement was met with a chorus of sad agreement as his sons shared annoyed looks and accusing stares amongst themselves. He asked them to tidy up. Was it really that difficult? The most unfortunate part though was the idea of having to clarify the definition of words to avoid similar situations in the future. As Splinter turned back towards the elevator he decided then and there they would not be left alone to clean again. It just wasn’t worth the headache.


	10. Prepared

**Prepared**

As Splinter surveyed the damage and chaos in the small apartment he couldn’t help but wonder if he was being punished. Casting his mind back through the years Splinter thought that although he had made many mistakes he didn’t think any of them warranted this punishment. He couldn’t help but feel he spent most of his time these days apologising, handing out punishments and attempting to understand the reasoning behind the odd behaviour of his sons. At least it wasn’t their home they had damaged today Splinter thought bitterly as a loud bang erupted from the kitchen followed by a low growl. Perhaps it would have been better if it had, it would certainly have saved Splinter from the indignity of apologising to April repeatedly and he was certain he would apologise again once he had heard this sorry tale.

Sitting in the thankfully undamaged armchair the rat turned his attention to the turtles seated around the area, all of them trying their best to look sorry but failing miserably. It was one thing to destroy your own home, but causing havoc in someone else’s home was even worse. It reflected badly on the turtles and Splinter couldn’t help but think it reflected poorly on him too. With this in mind, the rat turned a fiery gaze to his destructive sons, ensuring each felt his annoyance as they knelt around him in the small apartment. Each turtle displaying varying levels of guilt. From Leonardo’s look of shame, to Donatello’s detached expression hinting the turtle had no regrets for their actions tonight, with Michelangelo and Raphael falling somewhere between the two Splinter wasn’t sure where to begin.

Another crash erupted from the kitchen followed by low level muttering that had his sons squirming, knowing they were the cause. Deciding it was now or never to get to the bottom of this, Splinter tried to clear his mind in preparation.

“So which one of you thought it would be a good idea to test April’s level of Ninja skill and her reaction to dangerous situations?” the question startled the four turtles who dragged their eyes away from the kitchen and back to their Father.

Sharing a glance between them it was Michelangelo who timidly raised a hand, a sheepish smile on his face as he confessed his crimes.

“Michelangelo” started the rat zeroing in on his youngest “you will begin the explanation then I take it?” questioned Splinter although it really wasn’t a question and the orange clad turtle would explain whether he liked it or not.

“We only did it because April asked us too!” blurted out the orange masked ninja to the collective surprise of his brothers and father.

“That’s the best you can come up with? Bonehead!” groaned Raphael smacking a large green to his face in exasperation while Leonardo and Donatello let out heavy sighs. 

“Michelangelo” snapped Splinter turning his focus back on the young turtle “you mean to tell me that Miss O’Neil asked you and your brothers to attack her apartment, causing the damage you see around us?”

“Yes! You thought it was a good idea too!” answered Michelangelo nodding enthusiastically to yet another collective groan from his brothers, as Splinters eyes blazed at the insinuation he had somehow condoned this madness. Michelangelo seemed oblivious to his Father’s fury and continued staring at the rat as if the facts had been established.

Sensing that an explanation that made sense might take a long time to come from Michelangelo, the rat instead turned his gaze on Donatello. He was factual and to the point. With the mood April was in at the moment, time was of the essence in dealing with this.

“Enough Michelangelo. Donatello, explain what happened here tonight”

With a quick roll of his eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by Splinter, Donatello began at the beginning of what would later be described by Leonardo as a good lesson in communication.

* * *

 

_The day before…_

“Stop stuffing your face Mike, it’s time to get back to training” scolded Leonardo standing near the window in April’s apartment.

“But Leo training takes energy, and food gives me energy!” reasoned the orange clad turtle from his position on the couch

“Like you need more of that” snorted Raphael as he moved to join his other brothers by the window

“So what are you guys doing tonight?” asked April as her visitors prepared to leave

“Ninja stuff” answered Michelangelo, finally moving from the couch

“I’d have never guessed” answered the red head dryly, before turning to the other turtles for what she hoped was an actual answer.

“We’re meeting up with Master Splinter for some stealth training on the rooftops” explained Donatello

“Who we don’t want to keep waiting” cut in the blue masked turtle glaring at his slow moving youngest brother

“Don’t get your shell in a bunch Leo. I can run faster than you anyway so I’ll meet up with him first and tell him you were slowing us down!” teased Michelangelo joining the others by the window as the leaders glare intensified

“Maybe I could go with you?” asked April, immediately followed by a stunned silence from the brothers

Feeling slightly embarrassed by the shocked looks on her turtle friends faces April continued “I’ve been training with Master Splinter too. It could be good for me to see how you guys train outside the Dojo”

Raphael was the first to break the awkward silence as he stepped towards April “No offense April but what you do with Master Splinter is tap dancing compared to what we do. He aint quite as understanding with us either”

“Yeah April, we’re trained to the highest levels to deal with any situation. The training is intense, even to watch. We wouldn’t want it to put you off” continued Leonardo with a sage nod of his head

“I can deal with any situation! I’m an actual adult, and I’m more mature than you four!” snapped April with annoyance

“Could you deal with a giant bat attack? What if the furniture started walking around? Alien invasion? April we’re trained to deal with all of this and more! Unfortunately you’re not” described Michelangelo as he threw his arm around April’s shoulders sympathetically.

Feeling more than a little insulted at her friends insinuation her training was easy April couldn’t help but retort “I can handle any of that, any day. With or without the ninja training”

“Sure you can April” agreed the blue clad turtle, keen to diffuse the suddenly tense situation “Let’s go guys”

“See ya Ape!” called Raphael quickly following his brother through the window pulling his youngest sibling along by his mask tails “this way knucklehead!”

“If you were green and had a shell April, you could take my place at training tonight” offered Donatello as he moved to leave “I’d rather be working on my projects to be honest”

“I think Master Splinter might notice it wasn’t you” retorted April, still clearly annoyed

“Probably not. Just throw out some science terms every now and then that he won’t understand. He’ll be too preoccupied scolding Mikey and praising Leo to pay too much attention to what I’m doing. It could work” explained Donatello with a strange, distant look in his eyes. As if he’d suddenly been struck by inspiration.

“Donatello! Move your shell” called Leonardo from outside

“As you command!” answered Donatello with sarcasm. The purple turtle flashed a quick smile at the still grumpy red head before disappearing after his brothers.

* * *

 

_Present_

“So this is why Michelangelo believes April asked for her skills to be tested?” questioned Splinter

“Yes” answered Donatello simply

Steeling himself for what he was certain would be the worst part Splinter asked the question he dreaded the answer to “What happened then, to cause such chaos?”

“Well Mikey had asked April if she was prepared for a giant bat attack, walking furniture and an alien invasion and she said yes. So we decided to test her claims. Mikey’s right she practically asked us to.”

Ignoring his purple masked sons’ defence of their actions, Splinter pushed on “How did you test the claims, Donatello?”

Breathing a heavy sigh, Donatello continued on with his explanation as his brothers sat in silence next to him “So we rigged April’s apartment one night when we knew she would be out late. When she stepped into her apartment everything seemed normal, she put her keys down and went to get a snack. I’d set up her furniture to move by adding tiny, motorised wheels to the bottom of the furniture. It was a simple matter of creating a small hollow in the base of the wood and adding in the wheels so they were undetectable. So every time April turned her back I was hiding in the apartment and used a remote control to make the furniture move. At first April though she was tired but then she started to freak out a bit. I even set up her pots and toaster to move as well. Did you know April talks to herself? She kept telling herself this wasn’t real and the apartment couldn’t really be haunted. I beg to differ.”

“Her coping skills weren’t great, she doubted then panicked. Panic can get you killed” interrupted  Leonardo to deliver his analysis of their test, to a chorus of murmured agreement from his brothers.

Already feeling exhausted and horrified of the way this story was developing, Splinter felt compelled to hear it out to the bitter end. “So when the furniture freaked April out, she ran to hide in her bathroom but when the door opened she walked straight into Raph dressed as an Alien. We gave him big eyes, antennae’s and everything. We also covered the room in glow in the dark green paint of threats, dissections and fun stuff like that. Raph even glowed in the dark.”

“If she’d just turned the light on she’d have noticed it was me in a costume. She just ran straight back out screaming” reasoned Raphael with a sad shake of his head

“Yes she ran straight from the bathroom into her bedroom. Where Leo was waiting outside her window, also dressed an alien. He was writing ‘come with us’ on her window in what appeared to be blood but was really ketchup. She jumped on to her bed and started hugging a pillow. Don’t know what kind of self-defence tactic that is to be honest Sensei, maybe you taught it to her? Anyway it was at that point Mikey jumped down from the ceiling where he’d been hanging from dressed as a giant bat. She was pretty hysterical at that point and ran out of the bedroom back to the main room. At this point I had all the furniture moving back and forth in the room, so she panicked and grabbed Casey’s hockey’s stick he left here and started bashing the furniture up. Such a waste really.  She’d have never known it was us if Mikey hadn’t come out of the bedroom, doing a batman impression”

“I just couldn’t waste the opportunity dudes!” said Michelangelo in his own defence

“Then she went mad, called you and here we are” finished Donatello with a slight wave of his hand

Splinter couldn’t help but stare at his four sons. What on Earth possessed them to traumatise one of their few human friends? At this point Splinter wasn’t sure whether he should offer April an apology or therapy. There was one thing that still bothered him though.

“At what point did I condone any of this?” questioned Splinter

“When we met up with you for training, I said April thinks she’s Ninja enough to handle anything and maybe we should test her on it! You said ‘Perhaps, my son’ so we did. You totally gave us permission”  exclaimed Michelangelo with hopeful eyes.

Attempting to ignore Michelangelo’s poor imitation of him, Splinter cast his mind back to the night in question. Michelangelo had the tendency to talk a lot, with the vast majority of it being babble to Splinter so he did at times switch off to what his son was actually saying. It was then another crash erupted from the bedroom this time as April continued to clean up after his sons mess.

“You four are in big trouble for what you have caused but I feel April may not be the most receptive to an explanation right now.”

“So what do we do?” questioned Leonardo

“For now an apology will do” answered Splinter

April emerged from the bedroom where she had cleaned most of the mess away, only to find that her five ‘friends’ were gone.  Instead only a note remained, which rolled towards April on her newly remote controlled table.

_April,_

_Sorry about the mess we made. Guess you weren’t as prepared as you thought! We’ll clean up and fix everything, Master Splinter promises! You seemed like you needed some space so we’ll come back when you have your emotions under control again._

_Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael & Michelangelo_

Staring at the note a moment longer April slumped down on the couch in defeat. She couldn’t help but think she needed a vacation.


	11. Drip Control

**Drip Control**

Maintaining a safe distance between himself and his son, Splinter took a moment to appraise the situation before him. The rat was currently standing at the entrance to a sewer tunnel which led to the large abandoned room his sons regularly used for their skateboarding. The reason for the distance between him and the turtles was mostly due to the turtles currently stretching to their full capacity in an effort to plug the various leaks in the tunnel where water was pouring out. Whilst leaks in the sewer were nothing unusual, Splinter feared these leaks weren’t accidental, but so far the only evidence he had to go on was the sledgehammer lying discarded in the damp tunnel and a very large cracked hole in the left wall which Raphael was attempting to plug with his shell.

Eyeing the nunchuck plugging a hole a short distance in front of him, the rat decided it was probably a good idea to get on with the interrogation now, before the whole sewer tunnel flooded. He had a captive audience after all.  Carefully picking his way down the tunnel, Splinter stopped at the first son he came across. His red masked boy was currently squatting in front of a large hole where his shell had been inserted. Dirty sewer water ran out from the sides of his shell.

“This is an interesting form of exercise Raphael” commented Splinter, stopping in front of the turtle

“You can thank Donnie for the idea” replied Raphael with a grunt, shifting the blame on his younger brother.

“Why is this tunnel full of holes? You and your brothers use this area for skateboarding, do you not?” continued Splinter, choosing to ignore Raphael’s attempts to get rid of him.

Rolling his eyes slightly, Raphael clearly decided it was in his best interests to answer his Father’s questions “Yeah, but Mikey thought skateboarding was getting old and asked Donnie to add in some extra challenges”

“These challenges involved a sledgehammer?”

“It was Donnie that made this mess. I’m just a turtle shaped plug in his master plan”

“Where are your brothers?” inquired Splinter with a sigh. He obviously wasn’t going to get much more out of Raphael.

“Follow the tunnel round and you’ll find them. Oh, and if you see any or our weapons sticking out of strange places, I would just leave them you know”

“Of course, my son. Why would I question a nunchuck in a wall?” glancing around him Splinter headed off down the tunnel “Or your prized Sai holding a pipe together?”

Continuing down the tunnel, Splinter noticed the water level rising from where he assumed was the turtles skateboarding spot. The tunnel itself curved around so when he got to the open space, the water level was rising over his feet and multiple shuriken were wedged in cracks along the brick work. The open space itself, had three various ramps set up in the hollow part of the room. This dropped about three foot lower than the rest of the room and was almost completely submerged in water.

Glancing around the room, Splinter first spotted Leonardo in the top left corner of the room doing a perfect splits 15ft in the air, each foot plugging a different hole in the wall while sewer water flowed out into the already messy area. Not seeing his two youngest, Splinter stepped further into the area.

“Boys, what are you doing” he called into the area

“Master Splinter!” replied Leonardo with surprise followed by a loud bang from within the walls, and a muttered argument reached his ears.

“You tell him!” said one voice

“Do you know how to fix pipes? Then you go deal with Master Splinter” came a snarky answer. The rat could feel his patience wearing thin as his two youngest discussed him as if he were a problem to solve. As if his sensitive hearing couldn’t hear their not very quiet conversation! From his position in the corner Leonardo hung his head in shame. Whether it was for his brothers lack of manners or whatever problem they had all caused Splinter couldn’t be sure.

“Someone better explain. Now!” called Splinter sharply. A minute of shuffling and banging followed before Michelangelo emerged from a large pipe going into the wall, completely covered in unidentified sewage.

“I’ll explain Sensei” said the turtle sadly, approaching his Father.

“Yes, but you will do it from over there!” ordered Splinter as the smell hit his sensitive nose and he took a few steps back from his son.

Scuffing his feet on the floor and with a pout clearly meant to win sympathy Michelangelo commenced his tale of woe.

“Well we’ve been skateboarding down here for years and it’s got kind of bring, there’s no challenge anymore! So I asked Donnie if he could do something to make it more awesome down here! Leo suggested we try it blindfolded but that seemed to boring. Raph was all for it too, by the way! So Donnie opened his duffle bag, took out his sledgehammer and said to give him 10 minutes alone in the place!”

So many questions. Why did Donatello have a sledgehammer with him? Why can’t they behave for more than 10 minutes at a time? Nodding slightly to show he was listening, Splinter waited for Michelangelo to continue.

“Anyway, we left Donnie like he said and practiced in the tunnel you just came through. Well me and Raph did. Mr Perfect sat meditating.”

“Get on with it, Mike!” interrupted the eldest turtle, shifting his weight around in an attempt to get more comfortable in the wall.

“So basically, the sewer water just exploded out of the wall and drenched Raph while we were waiting for Donnie! It was so funny…”

“Michelangelo” growled Splinter in warning

Snapping to attention, the orange clad turtle grinned sheepishly at his father “Well, it turns out Donnie’s great idea was to turn the whole place into a water themed Skate arena and when he was readjusting the pipes the pressure built up because they’re so old, and it exploded out there where Raph’s using his fat shell to plug the hole. It also caused a load of other mini explosions in here and then the walls started to crack under the pressure. A water themed skate park was a totally awesome idea though and…”

Holding up a paw to silence his sons babbling, Splinter took a moment to centre his mind and spirit so he could deal with this. Unfortunately it was proving harder and harder to do. The urge to surrender to his sons stupidity was becoming more tempting with each new endeavour. At that moment another leak sprung up near to Leonardo who hastily showed his last Katana in the hole.

“When will this be fixed?” questioned Splinter as Michelangelo shifted uneasily from foot to foot

“Donnie says it was the pipes fault and not his, since he’s obviously never wrong” explained Michelangelo with an eye roll “he keeps saying it’ll stop when he reconnects these pipes or something”

“I will leave you four to clear this mess. I will be waiting outside the lair with a hose pipe for your return”

“A hosepipe?” asked Michelangelo with concern

“You four must all be cleaned before you set foot in the lair” explained Splinter with a smirk “I think cold water will be the most effective way to do it”

With that Splinter headed back down the tunnel, as three of his four sons whispered in horror to each other about the cold bath in their future.

As he drew level with Raphael, still with shell in wall he heard the joyful voice of Donatello proclaiming he had fixed the pipe. Raphael was staring at Splinter in horror as his father neared him, shell cell in hand.

“Not the hosepipe, Sensei! You can’t be serious” complained his red masked son

“Yes, my son. I’m sure your shell is filthy from the sewer water…”

Splinter got no further in taunting Raph, as a loud bang reverberated around the tunnel and the small crack in the wall plugged by Michelangelo’s nunchuck exploded in a torrent of sewer water and sludge. Unfortunately, Splinter was stood right in front of said nunchuck and was sent crashing to the ground next to Raphael, drenched in sewer water, mud and just about everything else the sewers had to offer.

“Are you ok, Sensei” asked Raphael in alarm

Groaning slightly, Splinter sat up clutching his left eye as the torrent of water slowed to a steady flow. The nunchuck had fired out of the water and managed to smash the unsuspecting Ninja master in the eye amid the chaos.

“I think so” he muttered in reply, silently cursing his sons and their ridiculous ideas.

“Guess that’s 5 for the hosepipe then?” suggested the red masked turtle with a grin

Splinter could only glare in response.

It was 20 minutes later, when April O’Neil stood in front of the lair door with a large hosepipe in hand. Five filthy Ninjas trudged towards her in resignation, Splinter was in front as the four turtles trailed behind.

“We’re so dead Donnie! Did you see his eye?” complained Michelangelo with dread

“We’re going to be punished for the rest of our lives” muttered Leonardo to Raphael, both of which were stretching out their stiff joints

“You guys smell awful” commented April as they got closer “I hope you guys are ready for this, it’s going to be cold”

“Get it over with April” advised Splinter “I will be taking the first shower after this, and then you can help me plan my sons punishment”

“Maybe get some ice for your eye too” she replied

Taking a moment to glare at the turtles behind him, Splinter stepped forward to be jet blasted. Next time he would call his sons to see what they were doing, it was clearly the safer option.


	12. Revolution

**Revolution**

As he knelt in the Dojo to face his sons, Splinter couldn’t help but release a small sigh. Traditionally in the Dojo each turtle had their own space in line going from Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello down to Michelangelo. However, the turtles had clearly decided on a new order. Raphael now knelt in Leonardo’s place followed by Donatello and Michelangelo. Leonardo knelt the other side of Michelangelo though there was a sizable gap between Leonardo and his brothers. Deciding to let the turtles squirm a little longer, Splinter stared hard at his sons in an attempt to see which son seemed the guiltiest for the current…situation.

Unfortunately for the Ninja master, they all seemed of equal guilt. Before Splinter could address the turtles, a voice broke the silence of the room, though not the voice Splinter would have expected.

“Master Splinter. I know you probably want an explanation and we will answer any questions you may have, I just want you to know that I was voted into this position and take it very seriously” stated Raphael while holding a perfect kneeling position, with his shell straight. It was unnerving, normally only Leonardo would act as such.

“Thank you, Raphael. I take it you will begin the explanation then?” he questioned, deciding to go along with the behaviour for now.

“No Sensei, I’ll be delegating that to Michelangelo. He handles all queries and public relations on the team”

“You need your own publicist? Come on guys, this is just pathetic!” said Leonardo, clearly annoyed with his brothers.

“If you have any comments or critiques for the leader then you can write down your concerns and post them in the anonymous box outside his bedroom.  Raphael doesn’t want there to be any conflict on the team, and will not respond to you when you’re antagonising him” interjected Michelangelo with an eerie calm, as Raphael and Donatello nodded along with their brothers’ words.

“I’m antagonising him?” raged the blue clad turtle in disbelief

“Technically, yes. You are deliberately provoking him to get some kind of reaction. It’s actually quite sad to watch” declared Donatello with a slight shake of his head.

Seeing that Leonardo was preparing to argue back, Splinter decided it was time to intervene.

“Enough, all of you. Michelangelo will explain and I will not hear another word from anyone else until he has finished. Understood?”

“Yes, Master” chorused three turtles in unison, while Leonardo nodded once as he continued to glare at his brothers.

“Well, it all started when we were out on a training run…”

* * *

 

**_Two Days Earlier_ **

“Do you want to say that to me again, Leo” growled Raphael

“I said, we are going to do an extra two hours training tonight” repeated the leader, with a bored tone. “We are all going to stay for an extra hour after we finish training with Master Splinter in the mornings from now on, as well. We can be performing better than we are now, and I think the extra training will help you three keep up”

“Keep up?” repeated Raphael as if he hadn’t heard his brother

“Do we not get a say in this?” questioned Michelangelo in desperation. Extra training was being discussed, and his disapproval would be heard.

“No. I’m the leader and I will lead us to be better” stated Leonardo with resolution “Now follow me. We’ll be going on quite a long run across the city tonight, to build endurance”

Not waiting to see if they followed or not, Leonardo took a running jump onto the next rooftop and began to set the pace. With much grumbling the three brothers that remained started to follow after the blue clad turtle.

“Who does he think he is? Thinks he’s so much better than us” said Raphael, clearly aggravated as he ran across the rooftops. Whilst they were following Leonardo’s route, the three younger brothers were quite a distance behind the eldest.

“He’s the leader Raph” said Michelangelo without any enthusiasm “Dude seriously needs to chill out though”

“Is he the leader, though?” questioned Donatello, who up to this point hadn’t offered any input

“Well yeah. Where’ve you been for the last 16 years dude?” said Michelangelo, currently running between Raphael and Donatello

“We live in a democracy Mikey, and I certainly don’t remember voting for him” stated Donatello casting a sly grin to his brothers

“Neither do I, now that you mention it” agreed the red banded turtle. He liked where Donnie was going with this.

“So what? Should we go on strike or something?” mused Michelangelo

“I’m saying, all leaders should be voted for regularly. I think we need to elect a new leader” plotted Donatello

“We don’t exactly have a lot of other options” said Michelangelo, not quite seeing the point of this

“I disagree. Raph, how would you like to run for leader?”

With a wide grin Raphael faced his brothers “I thought you’d never ask”

Following a night of training, the four turtles eventually returned to the lair. Leonardo went straight to bed, while the three younger turtles gathered in the lab to strategize for the forthcoming battle.

**_The Next Day_ **

Leonardo woke at his usual time of 5am and quickly set about his morning routine. Meditate, eat, be early for practice. He had it all down to an art form. He was not, however, expecting to see his three brothers up before him.  Deciding to deviate from his routine slightly, Leonardo headed towards the kitchen where Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo were in deep discussion.

“Okay Raph, try it again and make sure you really get the passion across” coached Donatello, as Michelangelo was hard at work on something that seemed to include his art supplies. Raphael for his part, was standing in front of Donatello with a few sheets of paper in his hands. Deciding he’d seen enough, Leonardo headed further into the kitchen to address his siblings.

“Morning, guys” started the turtle “What are you all doing up so early?”

At that three green faces turned to gaze at him all in different stages of hiding an evil grin.

“Morning bro” chirped Michelangelo as he continued on with his arts and crafts

“What are you reading Raph?” said Leonardo moving closer to his red clad brother, his curiosity finally getting the better of him. Before he could get too close, an olive green arm shot out to block his path.

“Sorry Leo, but that’s classified” stated Donatello, subtly shifting himself further in front of Leonardo

“Classified? Why, what it is?”

“If you must know, it’s Raphael’s speech for the upcoming election” explained Donatello, as if it was obvious

“What election?” said Leonardo in disbelief

“You really thought you’d get away with being our unelected leader forever, bro?” said Michelangelo

“Unelected? Master Splinter named me leader”

“Well, we’ve talked it over and not one of us recalls voting for you. If Master Splinter wants to vote you in as his leader that’s fine, but we’re holding an election to vote for who we want to lead us” continued Donatello as Raphael and Michelangelo nodded along in agreement.

A moment of silence passed as Leonardo took in what his brothers were saying, then he rounded on Raphael.

“You’ve always wanted to be leader, and the only way you can think of becoming it is by doing this? How pathetic. Do you really think Master Splinter will stand for this? Just wait until I tell him” ranted the blue clad turtle

“Look Leo, the people have spoken and they want a democratically elected leader. Master Splinter is out for the day and won’t be back until tonight. So, if you want to run for leader we’ll have a debate later and then the people can vote” explained Raphael in an eerily calm manner

“This is ridiculous!”

“If you don’t think you can win, that’s fine. I’m the only other candidate though” consoled Raphael in a soothing tone. There was something behind the words though, and it was a challenge. As soon as the hidden challenge was issued, Leonardo knew he had no choice but to crush his brother.

“Alright, fine. I will stand for leader” Leonardo choked on the words “and reclaim my rightful place”

With that Leonardo turned on his heel and stormed back towards his bedroom. There was no way he would lose to Raph.

With Splinter out of the lair for the day, the turtles were free to engage in the election battle without having to explain themselves to Splinter. The morning was spent in deep preparation for both candidates before the debate began at midday. At the appointed hour, the main living space of the lair had been transformed to include two makeshift podiums and a series of banners promoting the event. Team Raphael had stuck a series of posters promoting their candidate around the lair and Raphael’s podium had a large ‘Vote Raphael’ poster fixed to the front, including high quality artwork depicting the red masked turtle in the midst of battle, courtesy of Michelangelo. Leonardo had gone for a minimalist approach, with a hastily scrawled ‘Leo4leader’ stuck to the front of his podium.

Donatello and Michelangelo positioned themselves on the couch as the candidates took their place at the podium.

“Who’s going first?” questioned Michelangelo

“I will” stated Leonardo quickly, to which Raphael calmly shrugged.

“If you elect me leader then I can guarantee I will give the job 100% of my time and dedication. I will personally ensure all members of my team meet the highest standards of Ninja possible. This will only be achieved by hard training and a lifelong commitment to self-improvement. I promise to guarantee each member of my team one to one tuition from myself, in order to bring them up to my level” lectured Leonardo, occasionally waving his fist for emphasis.

As Leonardo’s speech progressed, it became clear to everyone but Leonardo  that a vote for the blue clad turtle was a vote for extra training. The declaration of being brought up to Leonardo’s level was met with eye rolls from the audience, and a sad head shake from Raphael.

“A vote for me, is a vote for strong and stable leadership. It’s a vote for honouring our teachings and Sensei. It’s a vote for improvement” finished Leonardo with a dramatic fist pound to the podium. At that Leonardo, stepped back slightly and bowed to his audience. The blue clad turtle cast a sly grin at Raphael, silently challenging him to beat that.

With a deep breath, Raphael stepped up to the podium to begin his bid for leadership.

“Do you want change? Are you fed up of doing the same thing over and over again? If you want change then vote for me. I promise there will be no more drama on the team, all suggestions will be given equal consideration. An anonymous suggestion box will be put in place, so you can give your ideas without feeling pressured. Chill time will become a compulsory part of the day and training before 8am will be banned. A sleep deprived Ninja is a dead Ninja! Every patrol will include time for goofing off as well as smashing up punks” declared Raphael

Leonardo listened to his brothers speech, with a sad expression. Raphael really had no idea about leadership. Glancing at the audience, Leonardo expected to see looks of disagreement on their faces, he was however, met with the opposite. Michelangelo and Donatello sat wide eyed on the edge of the couch, their eyes wide with admiration as Raphael concluded his speech.

“A vote for me is a vote for real change. It’s a vote for a leader who will take his time to understand his people and balance work and play. The question is; are you ready for change?”

At that, Donatello and Michelangelo leapt to their feet in applause and began to chant, Raphael’s name. Leonardo could only look on in disbelief as his opposition moved to greet his adoring fans. Following the debate, a polling station had been set up in the lab. One by one each turtle entered to cast their ballot. In the interests of fairness, the ballot box was emptied with all four turtles present.

“Ok, so we have one vote for Raphael. One vote for Leonardo” counted Donatello

Both turtles nodded, they’d obviously voted for themselves.

“We have another vote for Raphael”

Leonardo could feel uneasiness seeping into his core.

“The final ballot is a vote for… Raphael!”

“Congrats, dude!” exclaimed Michelangelo as he hurried to embrace his red clad brother

“I lost?” asked Leonardo numbly

“The final results show Leonardo received 25% of the votes while Raphael achieved 75% of the vote” continued Donatello.

“This is ridiculous. I went along with it so far, but that’s it! I’m the leader, not Raph” said Leonardo angrily

“It was a well fought campaign” said Raphael extending a hand to shake with Leonardo, who hastily took a step back. This whole thing was wrong. Raphael seemed so calm and sincere, it was creepy.

“This whole thing was rigged, and I’ll have no part of it!” exclaimed Leonardo backing out of the lab

“Leo, a team that trusts is a team that triumphs!” said Raphael as Michelangelo and Donatello nodded enthusiastically behind him.

True to Raphaels campaign promise a suggestions box was placed outside the new leaders bedroom that evening. Leonardo, disappeared into his bedroom as the three remaining brothers decided to celebrate with pizza.

**Present**

“-and that’s pretty much what happened Sensei. Leo freaked out this morning when Raph tried to bring him to the team meeting”

“He doesn’t call team meetings, I do!” declared Leonardo indignantly

“Enough” said Splinter.

A headache had developed as he listened to his son explain the current situation. It was clear to him, the ‘election’ had been rigged to get Raphael into power.

“Leonardo, why do you think you lost this election?” Splinter enquired

“Why? Because they’re all idiots”

“See Leo, that attitude is why you lost” corrected Raphael wagging his finger at the seething blue clad turtle

“Attitude? If you-“

“Quiet. All of you” interrupted Splinter. This needed to be brought to a swift close so he could finally get some peace.

“Leonardo is your leader” declared the rat, holding a paw up to silence the protests from three of his sons, as the blue masked turtle sighed with relief

“However, I will have a word with Leonardo about incorporating some of your ideas and how to act with humility” scolded Splinter as Leonardo’s look of relief quickly vanished.

“But we voted for Raph” protested Michelangelo

“I chose Leonardo” countered Splinter

“Sensei, I think the people have spoken!” said Raphael

“Indeed they have, my son. Unfortunately this is not a democracy and my word goes” explained the rat

Donatello had remained quiet throughout the exchange.

“I guess if this isn’t a democracy, it’s a dictatorship?” challenged the purple masked turtle

“Correct, my son. Now go, all of you. I do not want to see or hear from you for the next two hours. You are all to meditate on obeying your Masters wishes”

“Yes Sensei” chorused four voices in varying stages of sadness. As they trudged out of the Dojo, Splinter couldn’t help but wonder why he thought he could leave the lair for a day without something going wrong. Maybe he should have a word with Donatello some time. It was obvious he had masterminded this whole election.

Splinter couldn’t believe that after 16 years, they still though this clan was a democracy.


	13. One to One

**One to One**

After listening to explanation after explanation from his four sons, Splinter decided an intervention of some sort was needed. Reflecting on the ‘incidents’ which had plagued his home recently, Splinter found himself zeroing in on Donatello as one of the main culprits. While it was without question that the other turtles could cause trouble on their own, Donatello’s signature was all over some of the more interesting situations that had arisen. What concerned Splinter the most was how willing Donatello had become in masterminding the chaos, and the rat feared his son was developing something of a talent for it.

With that Splinter had decided to spend some one on one time with his purple masked son and today he would take him for a long walk through the sewers, where Splinter hoped he would be able to talk honestly with the boy and uncover the reasons behind his recent behaviour. Rising from his kneeling position, Splinter carefully slid back the door separating his room from the rest of the lair and made his way to the entrance, where Donatello stood waiting.

“Donatello, are you ready?” he greeted

“Yes Sensei” replied the turtle automatically, who was standing patiently at the door

Glancing around the lair, Splinter saw his eldest son sat reading while Michelangelo played a rather loud video game. The music blaring from the bedroom area indicated what Raphael was doing.

“We will be back later, my sons. Leonardo is in charge until I return”

“Yes, Master” replied Leonardo looking up from his book

“Ooh, Donnie’s in trouble” teased Michelangelo without bothering to look away from his game

With a small sigh Splinter decided it was probably better to just get going.

The rat had been walking through the sewers for 10 minutes with Donatello following slightly behind him. The journey so far had been made in silence with Donatello merely following his Fathers lead. Deeming they were now far enough away from the lair to have a proper conversation without the risk of eavesdroppers, Splinter took a slight step back so he was walking next to his purple masked son.

“Donatello, how are you my son?” started Splinter, looking for an easy way to open a dialogue with one of his quieter sons

“I’m fine Sensei” replied the turtle, who continued to look straight ahead

“Has anything been bothering you recently?” enquired the rat

“No Sensei, everything is fine”

“Are you sure?” asked Splinter

“Yes”

At that, they lapsed into silence once more as they walked through the sewers. Splinter was at something of a loss, he knew Donatello was a quiet turtle and conversations that didn’t involve science were of little interest to him but he still expected more of an answer out of the turtle. These short, curt replies were not going to help Splinter in his quest to redirect Donatello’s attentions and behaviour. It was time for a different approach.

“So Donatello, have you been working on any interesting projects?”

“Not really Sensei” answered Donatello

“You’ve been spending a lot of time in your lab” prompted the rat

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder”

“It was not a criticism Donatello”

Splinter was perplexed. He’d tried to make light conversation, which didn’t work. He enquired about his sons’ projects which would normally cause the purple banded turtle to babble for hours, and was basically dismissed. Turning right at the next junction, Splinter and Donatello headed through a damp part of the sewers with a lot of low hanging pipes. Part of the reason Splinter had chosen this part of the sewers was to check the integrity of the tunnels and ensure nothing was amiss that could bring humans down here. Stepping over a small stream of water running out of a pipe Splinter glanced sideways at his son. Donatello’s behaviour today seemed very odd, it was practically emotionless and the turtle had yet to initiate conversation.

“Donatello, the path narrows up ahead, you will go first” he ordered, watching the turtle closely

“Yes Sensei” came the automatic reply, as Donatello dutifully walked forwards a couple of paces.

This gave Splinter the chance to study his son from the back. There was something…off about his body language, or lack of body language. Come to think of it, since leaving the lair Donatello’s posture had remained very stiff. Slowing his pace, Splinter continued to examine his son. Surely spending time alone with his Father would not cause Donatello to behave like this? Splinter got no further than that when a creaking sound from ahead drew his attention. The rat could only stare in horror as a large, rusted pipe broke away from the wall and swung towards them, Donatello by now was quite a bit in front of Splinter and seemed oblivious to the danger.

“Donatello, move!” shouted the rat as he threw himself to the ground, expecting Donatello to react in a similar fashion.

The pipe gathered speed as it swung down towards the purple masked turtle who was stood completely still, right in the line of fire. Years of Ninjutsu training and finely honed sense should have saved him, instead a loud metallic bang rang out, and Donatello fell backwards as the pipe crashed into him. From his position on the ground, Splinter looked on in horror as Donatello’s decapitated head rolled towards him. The pipe swung over Splinter before slowing to a stop, it’s momentum stalled by the collision with Donatello.

In shock, Splinter was frozen in place, staring at the head that had rolled in front of him. His son was dead?

Staring numbly at the head, the rat noticed something that shouldn’t have been there. Wires were sparking out of the bottom of his sons head.

At this, Splinter shakily got to his feet and moved towards the turtles body, which was lying flat out on the sewer floor. A series of wires and circuitry were exposed where the head had been knocked off.

Donatello was a robot?

No.

Donatello had sent a robot in his place?

More likely.

Feeling rather shaky after watching his son lose his head and even more so after discovering it was a robot, Splinter sunk to the ground between the head and the robot body. 

Why would Donatello send a robot out for a walk in the sewers? Was he that desperate to avoid talking with his Father?

While Splinters feelings were most definitely hurt, and his nerves were completely shot having witnessed what he believed what his sons death there was one feeling which overwhelmed the rat completely.

Anger. It took Splinter a moment to process his feelings and when he finished he slowly loosened his grip on the robot head which now had deep claw marks in it from where Splinter had been crushing it. There was no way Donatello would avoid a stern talking to now.

Upon re-entering the lair Splinter found things much the same as when he had left, he had only been gone for an hour and half after all.

“Nice walk in the sewers?” called Michelangelo having heard the lair door creak open

“Where’s Donnie?” asked Leonardo, quickly noticing his brothers’ absence

“I was hoping you two could tell me” replied Splinter, his tone of voice indicating he was in no mood for games

“He went with you, Sensei” explained Michelangelo as if his Father was somehow becoming senile

“Not exactly” replied the rat

At that point Splinter lifted the robot turtle head into view, complete with purple bandana

“You killed him?” exclaimed Michelangelo in horror

“Is that a robot?” questioned the blue masked turtle, leaving his seat to approach the rat

“It appears so. Donatello decided to send a robot to accompany me, unfortunately he neglected to program it with Ninja reflexes and it was decapitated by a falling pipe” seethed Splinter

“Woah, that’s so freaky!” said Michelangelo who was now leaning over the couch to poke at the head “Did you not realise it was a robot?”

“Of course I didn’t” snapped Splinter, though he couldn’t help but wonder how he had failed to distinguish between his son and a robot version.

“We haven’t seen or heard Donnie anywhere in the lair” said Leonardo answering Splinters original question

“Hard to hear anything over Raph’s lame music” complained Michelangelo, drawing attention to the loud music that still blared out through the lair

At that moment, something clicked with Splinter, he was so lost in thought as things came together he barely realised what Leonardo was saying to him.

“Do we need to search for him? Maybe he was kidnapped and replaced with a robot, this could all be a trap” rattled on the leader until his Father raised a paw to silence him

“I am certain this is Donatello’s doing, I also believe I know where to find him”

With that Splinter made his way to Raphael’s room, robot head in hand. Michelangelo and Leonardo did not follow him, but began to whisper to one another, no doubt exchanging thoughts on just how much trouble their brother was in.

Deciding to not bother with pleasantries Splinter threw the door open to find Raphael seated in his hammock, with Donatello; head still attached seated on a chair besides him.

“Ever heard of knocking” muttered Raphael, who clearly knew he was about to be punished

Not bothering to reply, Splinter swung his walking stick bouncing off both turtles heads

“What was that for?” complained Raphael, turning off his music so he could hear Splinter

“I had to be certain you two were not robots” replied the rat angrily, bringing the robot head into view

“Oh…that. Yeah, ask Donnie” said Raphael grimly

Donatello merely sighed as if this was inevitable.

“Donatello, explain this now” seethed Splinter, patience running at an all time low

“I was curious to see if I could make a life like robot that could pass for me. So with Raph’s help I made a remote controlled robot duplicate of myself. I preprogramed in a series of responses that would normally answer most questions I’m asked. Raph and I sat in here directing the robot and listening to the conversation, we chose what the robot said to every question you asked him” explained Donatello in a very detached manner, which only seemed to infuriate his Father more

“Donatello, do you not understand how rude and disrespectful it was to send a robot out with me”

“You didn’t realise it was a robot” observed Donatello

“I wished to spend time alone with you, in an effort to curb behaviour exactly like this”

“I’m sorry, Sensei. It was in the interest of science, I had to know if the robot could pass for me” replied Donatello, sounding every bit as robotic as the head in Splinters hands

Splinter took a long deep breath to calm his temper. Clearly this was going nowhere.

“Donatello, you will have extra practice every day for the next month followed by meditation with me. Raphael you will join him” commanded Splinter as Raphael signed and Donatello merely nodded his head in acceptance.

“Donatello, you are also banned from you lab for the next two weeks. After that all projects must come to me for ethical approval until I trust you again” continued the rat

At that Donatello exploded out of his seat in shock.

“You can’t do that”

“Yes, I can. Leonardo will help to enforce this punishment by locking your lab”

At that Donatello fell to his knees in defeat, knowing his eldest brother would follow Splinters directions to the letter.

“You two will go and remove the robot turtle’s body from the sewers and destroy it. No robots are to be built again. Understood?”

“Yes Sensei” replied both turtles

With that Splinter left Raphael’s room and headed to the kitchen, throwing the robot head in the bin along the way. After all he had suffered through today, he was in desperate need of a cup of tea.


End file.
